It’s been one week when I left Racetrack Rider Community, and it’s been one week that I haven’t seen Jed. To think that he’s now free and we’re both living in separate houses. On the other hand, I didn’t tell my parents about it. Maybe I will one day but I don’t know. I don’t have any news from Jed anymore and I know it’s hard but I’m still doing my best to be fine so that I can manage my restaurant with the help of my brother’s wife.

It’s Saturday morning and I don’t have any plans, one week without being seen in public change me a lot. Some of my workers told me that I’m more blooming and much better than last time when I was with Jed. My phone buzzes and it’s a call from my mom.

“Hello mom, how are you? I’m sorry I didn’t call you, so why did you call?” I ask “You need to come here in Washington, your dad… honey, your dad…” “What happen? I will be there, I will now book a flight!” then I hang up. We have a place in Washington, mom and dad own a house there so that if they have a business trip it’s easier for us to settle.

After 4 and 54 minutes or let’s just say 5 hours approximately, I arrive safely in Washington, literally our house in Washington. Dad is in his room, mom said that he has a mild heart attack and that the doctor approved that he’ll stay in the house. The intriguing part is Jed’s parents are also there, this is bad!

“Where’s your husband? I thought you two will be here together?” Clarisse asks. “I… He will be here, I just…” “Yeah, well Jed told us that he’ll be here but we thought that you together” Ben smiles. Jed is coming over here? This is ridiculous! 

Our conversation was stop by the private nurse. “Is my dad okay?” I ask “Yes Ma’am, he’s fine. In fact if you want to talk to him you can” the nurse smile. I nod and left the area and went straight to my dad’s room.

He’s lying unconscious, my dad. I sit down beside him and held his hands to mine, tears come bursting out. Dad’s the one who can understand me this time; he’s the one I need to cry on.

“Hi dad, I didn’t expect to see you like this. Get well soon daddy because I have a surprise for you, but I want to tell you now. I have my own restaurant already and it’s getting bigger, well actually the investment doesn’t come out from my own pocket but I do promise that I will take good care of it so that someday you’ll be proud of me”

“And also dad, I’m sorry for being a brat and sarcastic and mean when you want to be sweet to me. You know what? I do really appreciate the wedding agreement because I learn to love Jed. I love Jed unexpectedly dad but do you still remember the thing that you said about him? That he will look after me? It’s not true because he loves someone else and I hate to admit but it’s slowly breaking me apart”

“But I didn’t regret the day I said yes to him down the aisle, because dad I love Jed as much as I could even it means giving him the chance to be with the one he truly love. I love him every single day even though I know that he didn’t love me back. Maybe, someday you’ll gonna say that I will love again but I don’t know. Jed for me will be my first and last, the man that I will always love forever”

“Thanks for not giving up on me, for letting me live the life to the fullest, for giving me strength and courage to pursue my dreams even though you know I won’t listen, thanks for being my dad, for keeping contact with me and being humble. You’re the best dad for me and I couldn’t ask for more”

“Dad, thank you for giving me the best birthday gift that night, thank you for Jed Crawford” 

“I’m sorry if I’m crying right now but hey we all cry. Dad, take care and please wake up. I miss you and I love you daddy, get well soon okay?”

And there I cry as much as I could. Letting the pain drift outside me and letting my tiredness gone away and letting the darkness consumes me.